A Big Sister’s Guide To Fixing A Struggling Relationship
No one wants their relationship to struggle. You want to grow old together and live happily ever after. But despite how much you adore your partner, or how wonderful your relationship is, you’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road. And that’s perfectly okay. Relationships thrive when we nurture them, and when they are struggling, it may be because we’ve neglected them. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life gets in the way, it happens. Fixing a struggling relationship means you must put in the work to reignite the spark you and your partner once had. If you care deeply about each other and you’re both committed to fixing the relationship, there’s almost always a way to make things work!
How to Begin Fixing a Struggling Relationship
Work on Yourself
If you find yourself blaming your S/O for your unhappiness, or taking out frustrations on them, you may have some inner work to do. Approach this without judgment and know that by working on yourself, you will be in a better place to nourish your relationship. You and your partner should allow each other space to work on yourselves, connect with what’s important to you and practice self-love! Self-love can mean forgiving yourself, shortcomings and all, and instead focusing on all the special, positive things about you. This can be practiced through meditation, journaling, or positive affirmations. Your self-love practice allows you to be open in your relationship and see that you don’t need someone else to complete you. You are perfectly enough the way you are! Your partner will only bring more love to your life and make your light shine even brighter!
Remember the Reasons You’re Together
Pause. Rewind. Go back to the start. What attracted you to your partner? What made them so special? Do they still have these qualities? What are some of your happiest memories together? It can be easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine you have with your significant other. Try to remember all those nights you shared, laughing uncontrollably, or staying up talking till the sunrise! Remembering the reasons you came together in the first place helps you appreciate your partner, and reminds you of the reasons to stay together. Ask your partner what drew them to you and if you still have the qualities they value. This will allow you to uplift each other up and remember how truly special you both are!
Be Honest
No matter how hard you try, you can’t fix a relationship all by yourself. It just won’t work. Talk to your partner honestly about your concerns, and expectations, even if you feel a bit silly admitting certain things. Approach it with kindness and an open heart but make sure both of you have a chance to share what’s on your mind. Your partner has no idea that it hurts you when they don’t respond to your texts if you don’t let them know. If your partner is doing something that upsets you, speak up and make it known, so they have a chance to make things right. Remember, you can’t read each other’s minds (wouldn’t that be easier?!) so open communication is key to making any relationship work.
Wondering why relationships actually fail? Can you repair yours? Check out our article here to find out.
Forgive Each Other
While we should never remain in a relationship that threatens our well-being, it’s important to not hold on to our partner’s past mistakes. If you both want to move forward with fixing a struggling relationship, drop whatever issues you had in the past. Dwelling on it will only make things worse. Remind yourself that the past is the past, and there’s no reason to bring it into your future. When you focus on blame or hang on to expectations, you can miss moments of love and connection! And remember, you might need forgiveness one day too. Try to offer the same amount of forgiveness that you’d like in return if you ever made a mistake that you truly regretted.
Remember that real love is respect. You can forgive anyone, but you do not need to stay in an abusive or harmful relationship. It can be hard to be certain whether your relationship is healthy enough to stay with your partner. Check this very helpful quiz about whether you have a healthy relationship or not.
Fun The Fun
When you first start dating, everything is brand new, exhilarating, and fun! Weekends are spent introducing each other to new interests, friends, and your favorite restaurants. Even watching Netflix is something to look forward to! But as relationships progress, we often get into a routine. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Start dating each other again and make time for things you both love. It could be going to the restaurant you went to for your first date, traveling to a new place, or taking a class together. Take turns planning a date night each week. If you’re not sure where to start, think about what makes your partner happy and do more of that!
Don’t Forget About Me-Time
It’s important to remember who you are, your passions or hobbies and what ignited joy in you before you met your partner. Prioritizing “me-time” will allow you to get back into doing things you love, that may have taken the back burner. Have you ever fallen in love and suddenly become MIA? Or know a friend who’s never down to hang since getting in a relationship? It can be too tempting to spend every evening with your partner, but it’s important to prioritize your friendships again. Start reconnecting with old friends or be brave, get out there and make some new ones!
Fixing a struggling relationship won’t be an easy feat. It will take time, effort, patience and even some uncomfortable discussions. But if you and your S/O are both committed to rekindling your flame, it is completely possible to rebuild, and bring back your connection! After putting in the work, make sure to pop open a bottle of champagne and celebrate with your partner! It is a huge accomplishment to not only find, but keep long-term love!
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