Living for yourself is easy, right? Who else could I possibly be living for? Well, sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re truly living for yourself. Without noticing, you may have allowed the opinion or expectations of others to influence your life. Social pressure is everywhere, even on our phones. And it’s easy to fall victim to needing to keep up with the latest trends and take the most fabulous vacations. We’re here to help you figure out how to live for yourself and finally stop living for others.
Keep reading for our guide on how to live for yourself and the things you need to stop doing.
How To Live For Yourself – 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing
1. Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
Do you find yourself saying “yes” to things that you really don’t want to do? Maybe you’re at the same bar every Friday night when you’d rather be at home cuddled up with a good book. Or you find it impossible to turn down your boss’s request to work on your day off.
Yes, it might be tough turning down your friends, and you might even face some backlash. But your time and energy are precious! When you’re begrudgingly saying yes, you’re opening the door for resentment that could have been avoided had you been true to yourself. The fact is, to live for yourself, you have to get comfortable disappointing people and putting yourself first.
2. Criticizing Yourself
This one is tough because most people aren’t aware of their self-criticism or how they speak to themselves. Our inner critic can be subtle, and for that reason, you may have been criticizing yourself for years without realizing it! Inner dialogue like “I’ll never get this promotion.” “They are out of my league.” Or “Why did I say something so embarrassing?” can have a huge impact on how you live your life.
If you constantly criticize and think negatively towards yourself, it can stop you from achieving your goals and even living for yourself. Pay attention to your thoughts, and the next time your inner critic is around, try to replace those negative thoughts with something positive.
3. Putting Yourself Last
While it feels great to take care of others, we have to allow ourselves the space to cater to our needs too. We get so caught up in our busy lives and to-do lists that our needs inevitably come last. The people in your life are important, so of course, you want to take care of them! But, if you don’t take the time for yourself to recharge, you will eventually burn out.
To be a pillar for those in your life, you must take the time to tend to your own needs. Take time out of your day to practice self-care and stick to it. Try not to get distracted by your tasks for the day. Instead, focus on how you can fill your cup. By making the space for a self-care practice, you may find you can be more present for the people in your life!
4. Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s impossible not to scroll through Instagram or Facebook without seeing enviable vacation pics and gorgeous models in bikinis. They might leave you with FOMO, jealously, and feeling like your life isn’t nearly as fun or exciting as theirs. Or you might even start to feel like you aren’t good enough or pretty enough the way you are.
While getting off social media is one thing, you can’t avoid comparison triggers like driving through an expensive neighborhood or going to the beach. But what you can do is make a conscious effort to be grateful for all the blessings in your life. The more you express gratitude, the less you’ll be triggered by comparison.
5. Setting the Bar Too High
While it can be good to have high standards for yourself, there is such thing as setting the bar too high. It’s important to remember to be reasonable and realistic when setting and meeting your expectations. Setting the bar too high can stop you from enjoying life to the fullest and celebrating your wins, whether they’re big or small.
You could also be setting the bar too high or setting goals according to other people’s expectations instead of trying to live for yourself. The next time you set expectations, ask yourself if they line up with your values or if they are simply to please others.
6. Spending Time With the Wrong People
Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, or even acquaintances – if they judge you, belittle you, or make you feel insecure, they’re not worth your time. It’s understandable if you feel the pressure to stay in friendships you’ve had forever. But you must stay true to who you are and live for yourself. If your friends are bringing you down, you owe it to yourself to walk away.
Ending a friendship is tough, but there is a way to go about it respectfully and gracefully. To understand toxic friendships and how to handle the breakup, check out our article here.
7. Not Living Authentically
Without realizing it, you may be living a life that’s not authentic to you, your values, and your desires. Maybe you’re working a job you hate to please your family, or you dress a certain way to fit in with those around you. Perhaps the most vital part of choosing to live for yourself is living authentically and doing what makes you happy.
Align yourself with your purpose and question if you are actually doing what you love. From there, you can begin to make the necessary changes to start living for yourself. It’s exhausting trying to be someone you’re not, so the sooner you start living the way you want, the better you’ll feel!
How To Live For Yourself
When it comes to living for yourself, what’s most important is that your happiness comes first. It’s time to stop thinking about what other people want and start focusing on doing what you love and what makes you happy. We’re rooting for you!
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