The Five Most Important Things In A Real Relationship

Entering a relationship can leave you feeling truly elated, with cute dates filled with giggles, long talks, and curling up together to watch movies. But what makes a relationship last? Are two people and the love between them enough for the long haul? Of course, finding someone who seems perfect for you and makes your heart sing is the first step. But you still need to put in the work to make the relationship last in the long run. Everyone deserves to be in a loving relationship, and with your person by your side, a real, healthy relationship is completely achievable. If you want to be that #couplegoals pair, here are the 5 most important things in a real relationship you should know. 

Two shoes tied together to show the five most important things in a real relationship.

What are the Most Important Things in a Real Relationship?


For a real healthy relationship to work, both you and your partner need to be healthy yourselves. You both need to be able to care for your own emotional well-being and mental health. No matter how much you both love each other, you still need to prioritize self-love. It’s easy to get lost in your relationship with your head in the clouds and forget about the rest of the world. But it’s important to stay connected to yourself so you can continuously work to improve your mental, and emotional well-being. Focusing on self-love can help you stay connected with yourself so that you can be more present for your partner, your relationship, and you. 


Trust is the foundation of a relationship and one of the most important things in a real relationship. To connect with someone, you need to feel comfortable opening up your inner world, experiences, and feelings to another person. And that takes trust. Regardless of what you or your partner have been through in the past, in a real, healthy relationship, your partner should trust you completely. But trust doesn’t come right off the bat. It must be earned. But with effort and time, it can be built! When trust is the foundation of your relationship, you will both feel free to be your authentic, unique selves! Trust can feel as simple as knowing that your partner always has your best interests at heart and always has your back! 


One of the most important things in a real relationship is that both partners have mutual respect for one another. Listening, TRULY listening to your partner, understanding their perspective even if you disagree, is an essential first step in respect in a real relationship. Don’t try to convince them to change their mind about things they want to do, or things they love. Even if, they do insist on wearing that shirt again. Respecting your partner’s privacy and boundaries is another way to show them you respect them. Remember, you are not entitled to know everything and anything that your partner does. You might be dying to know every detail about their night out with their friends as soon as they walk in the door. However, it’s important to give them some space to keep things to themselves. 


Remember, no matter how well you know your partner and how much you love each other, you cannot read each other’s minds. Be sure to talk to each other. Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings that could blow up into something bigger and cause hurt, anger and confusion. When entering a relationship, or if you’re considering the next step, it’s important to be able to talk openly about what you both want. Sure, this could lead to some uncomfortable and even awkward conversations. But if you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner should listen and respect you, and you should do the same in return. If your cute texts and selfies throughout the day are a little much for your partner, it may lead to a misunderstanding. It’s important to find a communication style you’re both happy with so you don’t overload them or leave them hanging! 


Often, one of the first things people look for in a partner is a sense of humor and the ability to make them laugh. And for good reason! There’s no doubt that relationships are tough, and most people don’t enjoy arguing or discussing what’s not working in a relationship. Humor can help you look at problems in a new light that may otherwise seem overwhelming and damaging to a relationship. It’s important not to take yourself so seriously, and it’s hard to be angry when you’re both cracking up. All it takes is one joke to lighten the mood and shift your perspective! And you don’t have to be a comedian to make your partner laugh, it’s about finding humor in the everyday and enjoying it together. With that being said, timing is everything, and cracking a joke isn’t appropriate for all situations. Be sure to read the room beforehand. 

What actually makes a real relationship last?

You and your partner might have open communication, trust and respect each other fully, and laugh at even the most mundane things together. But it still doesn’t work out. Or, you and your partner might still be working to improve your communication, or trust. While all of these are important things in a real relationship, they are not a guarantee that your relationship will last forever. The truth is, there is no one answer as to what makes a relationship last. There are things you can look out for, and discussions you can have to where the relationship is heading. The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, and every couple will go through rough patches in their relationship. How to get through it? Know that you and your partner are fighting the same battle on the same team and can get through anything together. 

What makes a healthy relationship? Are movie marathons and cuddles enough? Find out the 10 Positive Signs You’re In a Healthy Relationship, here.

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