5 Important Reasons Self-Love Is Not Selfish At All

Self-love has taken the world by storm, and I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of Instagram posts telling you to practice self-love. But on the other hand, you might have even seen articles or statements telling you that self-love is, in fact, selfish. But does that statement actually hold true? Or by practicing self-love, are you doing yourself and those around you a service? Let’s discuss! Keep reading for five important reasons self-love is not selfish at all. 

Girl practicing self care in a bathtub thinking about why Self Love Is Not Selfish.

Firstly, What is Self-Love?

What comes to mind when you think of self-love? Maybe it’s singing Lizzo songs in the car or treating yourself to a glass of rosé after work. Self-love will carry a different meaning for each of us. But it can be defined as prioritizing your well-being and happiness and taking actions that support your needs. It’s about loving yourself, the good, bad, and the ugly, and forgiving yourself for your flaws and mistakes. Practicing self-love isn’t selfish. It’s knowing what you deserve and not settling for anything less.

5 Reasons Self-Love Is Not Selfish At All

1. Self-Love Spreads Positivity

Practicing self-love is essential for living your best, healthiest life. And not only will it positively impact your world, but it can have a ripple effect on those in your circle. Think about it. If you’re beaming positive energy, it will be hard for those around you not to pick up on it and share your infectious smile. When you practice self-love, you show kindness and gratitude towards yourself, which helps you notice the good in others. And who doesn’t want to be around someone who radiates positivity?

2. Your Relationship Will Improve

When you practice self-love, you can finally wave goodbye to clinginess, jealously, and insecurities in the relationship. You’ll no longer feel you need someone else to complete you or look for external validation. You feel confident knowing that you are enough and are worthy of love! Self-love allows you to show up as a healthy partner, be present and loving towards your beau. And remember, you attract what you are, so if you’re radiating self-love, you’ll attract someone with the same energy!

3. You Will be a Better Friend

Have you had a friend who always seemed to compete with you? Or didn’t cheer you on for your accomplishments? This could be due to many factors, but a lack of self-love or self-esteem may be why. By practicing self-love and working on yourself, you can be a better friend to those in your crew. You can have open discussions, accept apologies, and not hold onto unnecessary grudges. Nurturing your relationship with yourself first promotes a rich bond and meaningful connection in your friendships!

While self-love can certainly deepen connections with our friends, sometimes, some friendships can’t be saved. What’s a bad friend? Check out our article here to find out. 

Two girls gossiping about how to end a toxic friendship.

4. Self-Love Promotes Healthy Boundaries

For some people, setting boundaries is easy. They have no problem saying “no” to things that don’t serve them. But for others, it takes loving yourself to realize the importance of implementing healthy boundaries. When you love yourself, you define your values and set a standard for how you want to be treated. You are no longer saying “yes” to your loved ones just to please them. Your friends and family will know that when you’re around them, it’s because you enjoy their company and truly want to be there.

5. Be an Advocate for Your Loved Ones

Have you ever let something slide to avoid conflict? Maybe you’ve laughed off a hurtful comment instead of saying what you really think. It takes work, but the more you practice self-love, the more your confidence will grow. You accept who you are and don’t beat yourself up over minor mistakes. Self-care activities that make you look and feel your best are prioritized. You know your worth and stand up for what’s right. This increased confidence has many benefits in your life, but it can also make you an advocate in the lives of those around you. You help others recognize their power and encourage them to use their voice in moments of injustice!

If you ever need a little boost of empowerment, this article will help. 5 Inspiring Stories to Feel Empowered as a Woman.

Girl standing in a power pose feeling empowered as a woman.

How you can Practice Self-Love

It sounds easy in theory to love yourself. But the truth is, it can take some serious work! Some days will be more difficult than others. But once you start to notice the abundance of positive changes it brings to your life, you’ll be hooked!

To start practicing self-love, be gentle, compassionate, and kind towards yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over things you’ve said or done in the past. Instead, choose to notice all the special, unique qualities about you. Show the same level of care towards yourself as you would show someone you love.

Other ways to practice self-love include:


Self-care. You might choose to have a glass of champagne in a bubble bath or start a journaling practice. (More on that journalinghere.)

Girl writing in a notebook, practicing journaling for self love.

Mindfulness. Be mindful of how you speak to yourself throughout the day. Silence your inner critic and be kind to yourself. 

Healthy lifestyle. Choose to nourish your body with good food, exercise, and activities that bring you joy.

Self-Love is Not Selfish. At All.

Practicing self-love is not selfish. It’s not about being self-indulgent or wanting the world to revolve around you. It’s not about only caring about yourself or trying to get ahead. Self-love is accepting yourself for who you are and forgiving yourself for your flaws and mistakes. It’s about choosing to love yourself and owning your power. Self-love is about being the best version of yourself, not only for you but for those around you.

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About Jurnee

Jurnee is a writer and creative from New Zealand passionate about covering health, wellness, and fashion.