Why Relationships Actually Fail and How to Try Repair Yours

When most of us enter a relationship, we want it to last. We have hopes of committing and settling down with our person and creating a wonderful, fairy tale life together. Despite our desires, most relationships inevitably come to an end. While no couple wants to think about their possible breakup, the truth is it happens. But why? Let’s take a look at some reasons why relationships actually fail, and how you can repair yours.

Girl with her hands in her hair thinking about why relationships actually fail.

Reasons why Relationships Actually Fail


Have you ever heard of meeting the right person at the wrong time? You might have seen this classic storyline play out in one of your favorite romcoms. While it is cliché, the truth is, it is possible to not be in the right stage of your life for a relationship. Maybe you meet your beau just before you’re about to leave for a year abroad. Perhaps you finally land your dream job and need to put all your focus into your career. Or, you’re just not ready for commitment at this time of your life. If you’re loving the single life, or newly single, trying to force a relationship when you’re not ready just won’t work. 

Communication Issues

Communication issues are one of the most common reasons why relationships actually fail. And for good reason. It’s extremely important for both partners to be able to express their feelings in a relationship. And when they’re not able to, it can cause the relationship to fall apart. Fast. Having communication issues in a relationship can cause misunderstandings, conflict, less intimacy, and even loneliness. You’ll probably be able to tell if your relationship is facing communication issues. But some signs to look out for are: passive aggression, hostility, lack of empathy, criticism, blaming, and not truly listening. 

You Want Different Things

Chances are, you probably have an idea of what you want your life to look like. You have your dreams, goals, and priorities for the future. When you’re in a relationship, you might not always share the same visions and aspirations. In some cases, this is a deal-breaker. For example, one partner might want to move to the south of France whereas the other person wants to be close to home. Or, one partner may want children whereas the other is certain they do not. If you have deal-breakers that you aren’t willing to compromise on, this can be a concrete reason why relationships actually fail. 

Have you ever wondered if your relationship could be causing you anxiety? Our article may be able to help. Check out Can Toxic Relationships Cause Anxiety? Should You Leave Or Fix it?

You Grow Apart

When you’re a long-term couple, it is inevitable that parts of the relationship will change. Unfortunately, the magical bubble of the first few months of a relationship doens’t last forever. That is completely normal. But, if you notice that feelings have started to diminish, or you want to spend less time with your beau, you may be growing apart. Do you still share exciting news with your partner? Do you both cherish spending time together? Are you able to communicate openly? Do you still share physical affection? The reality is, people, change and grow as time goes on. Sometimes, you may outgrow your partner and find yourself on a different path. 

Conflict With Loved Ones

You and your partner will both have your own set of friends and family. Of course, you want your loved ones to welcome your partner with open arms. But unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. You value and care about the opinions of the people closest to you. And if they express concern about your partner, it is something that you may take seriously. Your loved ones can be very influential in your life. If your friends and family don’t support your partnership, it can put a huge strain on your relationship. Who you choose as a partner is your choice. However, your family has your best interests at heart and might be seeing things about your S/O that you’re missing.

You’re Just Not Right for Each Other

You don’t have to share all the same interests and hobbies for a relationship to work (hello, boring!) However, you and your partner should be somewhat compatible. Have you ever met someone and you just instantly click? And others, not so much? You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says or does, but sharing the same general values is important. Do you and your partner see the world completely differently? Disagree on important matters and you aren’t able to compromise? If so, you might not be the right match! While on the other hand, everything in your relationship is picture-perfect, but you have a feeling that things just aren’t right. That feeling that you can’t quite put into words might be your lack of compatibility!

How to Save Your Relationship

Despite the bad timing, wanting different things, or growing apart, if you and your partner want to make the relationship work, it is possible. If you’re committed to saving the relationship, you first need to establish what needs fixing. Take the time to truly analyze your relationship (alone, or with your partner) and make a note of the areas that need work. 

You might need to focus on improving your communication or compromise on your future plans. Whatever it is, make sure you talk openly with your partner about how you plan on working on your hardships. 

Remembering to have a little fun and spice up your relationship can get you out of a rut. Take turns planning a date night! (Tip: this couples card game is a fantastic way to connect on a deeper level and reignite your spark!) And remember not to take your partner for granted – it can happen if you’ve been together for a while. A simple reminder that you appreciate them goes a long way. 

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