There’s no better feeling than the bliss of entering a relationship. Everything is new, exhilarating, and plain old fun. But with this newfound delight comes some uncomfortable and even awkward moments. Ever wondered why? We’re diving into why relationships are hard when you first start dating as well as some tips to alleviate those cringe-worthy moments.
Why Relationships Are Hard When You First Start Dating
Yes, dating is exciting and has you feeling all fuzzy inside. But it’s also scary and unpredictable. After all, you and a near-stranger are trying to navigate a potential life together! So don’t be down on yourself if you’re a little freaked out.
Here are 5 reasons why relationships are hard when you first start dating.
You’re Trying Too Hard To Be “Perfect”
When you first start seeing someone, it’s completely normal and expected that you’d want to show off the best version of yourself. You probably don’t unload all your emotional baggage onto this person on the first date. But, there is such thing as trying to be too perfect. Especially if you start letting things slide that you usually wouldn’t, or you “play it cool” when your boundaries are crossed.
Even more so if you start downplaying your interests and pretending to LOVE their favorite band even though you’ve only heard one song. Remember to be yourself. It will save a lot of time in figuring out if this person is right for you.
You Haven’t Built Trust
Trust is the foundation of a relationship. But when you first start dating, you haven’t had the time to build trust just yet. And without it, you might not have the confidence to open up and let your walls down. You’re still figuring out if this person is right for you and if you can trust them with the intimate parts of you. That there is a clear example of why relationships are hard when you first start dating.
Try to give your beau the benefit of the doubt. After all, they haven’t done anything to lose your trust. So try to approach the situation with an open heart. Chances are, letting them in will only strengthen your connection and get you on the right path to building trust.
You’re Learning About Each Other
There is so much to learn about one another when you first start dating. What they like, what they don’t like, to their pet peeves and their boundaries. During this period of figuring things out, there may be some uncomfortable and even awkward moments.
What happens if they take you to a seafood restaurant not knowing you’re deathly allergic? Or if you organize a rock climbing date not knowing they have an extreme phobia of heights? While you’re still learning all the little things about each other, make sure you don’t take everything so seriously. Being able to laugh at situations like these will help!
You’re Overthinking Everything
I think we’re all guilty of this one. After all, everything is uncharted territory, so it’s only natural that we wonder what will happen next. You might be wondering if your date is seeing other people and how they feel about you. If they even want to be in a committed relationship?! Why haven’t they texted back yet?
Your brain is probably in overdrive right now trying to figure this person out. And then there’s the part where YOU have to figure out if this person is right for you. And if you see a relationship working in the long run. Overall, it’s a lot of thinking, which is another clear and frustrating example of why relationships are hard during the dating period. Stay calm. You got this.
You’re Setting Unrealistic Expectations For Your Date
While you may not know it, we all have expectations for what we want a relationship to be like. And in some cases, we even have expectations for what we want our love interest to be like. These expectations may come from past relationships or a checklist of the “perfect partner” we’ve created. Tall, successful, kind, cute, loves dogs.
While it’s fine for you to not want to settle, what would happen if you let your expectations go? If you have unrealistic expectations of the perfect person in your mind, chances are anything less is going to disappoint. So leave the “perfect person” at the door.
New Relationship Advice
So, now we know why relationships are damn hard when you first start dating. What can you do to make things a little easier? Here are our new relationship tips to help you when you first start dating.
- Be you, and own all parts of yourself. Including the parts you think are “lame” or “embarrassing.”
- Avoid comparison. Don’t compare this person to your ex or your last relationship.
- Be open-minded and willing to try new things like new restaurants and date-night activities.
- Communicate. Be open about what you want from a relationship and what you won’t tolerate.
- Give them space. Don’t blow up your beau’s phone if they don’t reply within an hour.
- Be vulnerable. It helps establish deep, meaningful connections.
- Keep doing what you love. Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you have to stop making time for yourself.
- Respect your boundaries. If they cross a line, let it be known.
- Maintain friendships. Don’t let the honeymoon phase make you a hermit!
- Be present. Don’t be tempted to check your phone on dates.
- Take off your rose-tinted glasses and look out for any red flags and warning signs.
- Leave the important conversations for face-to-face rather than through text.
- Most importantly, remember to have fun.
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